The world is at a point of transition. Around us we see the stories that have underpinned and guided life in western societies over recent decades, in some cases centuries, start to unravel. Stories about industrial growth being a driver of progress, stories about the individual pursuit of wealth leading to happiness and wellbeing, many related and interconnected stories about what makes a good life. Around us, the inadequacy of these stories is beginning to shine through the cracks that are appearing in almost every facet of life, human and beyond. Our economies are not delivering the happiness they promised, depression is at epidemic proportions, anxiety and stress have becomes almost a norm of life. Our economic system is clearly broken, we sit awaiting its next, and probably bigger collapse. Many people work in meaningless or menial degrading jobs, feeling powerless and disconnected from their true values. Our ecosystems are so degraded that scientists now confirm we have entered the sixth mass extinction. Fossil fuel burning and industrial agriculture threaten the survival of the whole ecosystem of which we are but a part.

When we face all or any of these realities it’s painful. Really painful. So much so, that most of us, most of the time, don’t dwell on them too long, maybe a few seconds reading an article, and then we push them away to preserve our emotional stability. It’s so so painful, many people don’t get that far, disconnecting from the realities before they can even reach their consciousness. Who can blame them, if they believe they are powerless, and that emotional pain is pointless, then why approach it at all.? A few of us dwell on the problems a lot, feeling worried and angry. We can get depressed, aggressive or paralysed.

But there can be ways through this.

First, we need to question psychological stories that have developed within our industrial growth society culture. Included in these are stories about how we should relate to our emotions, what our most important needs are, how we should think, how we should deal with problems psychologically, and how we should relate to others. Here are some of these stories, beliefs or social norms:

• Negative emotions are shameful. Sadness, tears, anxiety, anger, are to be hidden, suppressed, avoided, or talked out of.
• Giving room to emotions is self-indulgent, pathetic, selfish, and will make them worse.
• Emotions are not useful, they get in the way of helpful action. They are irrational, and irrationality is bad.
• Only our intellectual brains should be engaged to solve problems. Good solutions are ones that will likely work and we should be able to measure their outcome.
• We are responsible for who we are as individuals. If we do not ‘succeed’ at things it is our fault.

There is some truth in all of the above statements, sometimes they are useful, but this depends on nuance and context. In many situations the above beliefs are untrue and unhelpful, and we need to challenge them in order to be able to deal skilfully with a situation.